Divorce attorney Michael A. Robbins has been practicing law in the State of Michigan since 1982 and currently focuses his practice exclusively on assisting clients with family law matters. Over the years Mr. Robbins has helped a great many parents through the divorce process and has observed that clients are often able to make this challenging time easier on their children by following the tips provided below.
1. Carefully Tell Your Children About the Divorce
Telling your children that you’re getting divorced is never an easy conversation to have but this difficult conversation can be made easier by doing what you can to leave any feelings of guilt, blame, and/or anger out of the conversation. Additionally, it is best if both parents are present during the conversation and have previously discussed how their joint message will be tailored suit the age and development of each child. However, regardless of age, each child should basically be told that Mommy and Daddy used to love each other but have decided that they would be happier living apart. Be sure to emphasize that the divorce is in no way the child’s fault and that despite the divorce your love for your children is permanent. Finish the conversation by asking if your children have any questions.
2. Do What You Can to Help Your Children Cope
Each child deals with their parents’ divorce differently, but consider taking the following measures in order to help your children cope the best you can:
- Invite conversation and let your children know that you take their feelings seriously,
- Help your children put their feelings of sadness or anger into words,
- Validate your children’s feelings,
- Don’t disparage your spouse in front of your children,
- Don’t use your children are messengers and don’t argue in from of them,
- If it is safe to do so, encourage your children to maintain their relationships with your spouse,
- Try to keep your children’s daily routines as consistent and normal as possible, and
- Keep an eye on your children and reach out for help (perhaps from a child psychologist, religious leader, or family friend) if you feel that one or more of your children would benefit from talking about the divorce with someone outside the family.
3. Maintain Your Relationships With Your Children
If you’re not careful a divorce can become all-consuming. No matter how messy your divorce becomes be sure to maintain your relationships with your children, provide them with unconditional love and encouragement, and make sure that your children remain your highest priority. Take time each day to do something fun with your kids and be sure to ask them each questions about their lives. Furthermore, don’t let the guilt of a divorce impact your parenting style. Just because you’re getting divorced doesn’t mean that your children should be able to get away with things that they wouldn’t have in the past, and make sure that you and your spouse are disciplining consistently even if you’re no longer living together.
Contact Divorce Attorney Michael A. Robbins Today
While the tips provided above are appropriate for most divorcing parents it should be noted that each divorce is unique and that what works well for one divorcing family may not necessarily work well for the next. Michigan divorce attorney Michael Robbins is well aware of this fact and therefore tailors his legal services on a case-by-case basis to fit the individual needs of each client. To find out what Mr. Robbins can do for you, contact the Law Offices of Michael A. Robbins today at our Bloomfield Hills office by calling (248) 646-7980.