Communicating With Your Ex Post-Divorce

Navigating a divorce can be an incredibly challenging experience that can take a significant toll on a person’s emotional and mental well-being. Even when both parties agree that divorce is the best option, there can still be feelings of hurt, anger, and frustration that arise during the process. It is important to protect yourself during this difficult time by knowing how to communicate with your soon-to-be ex-spouse effectively. The way you communicate can have a significant impact on the outcome of your divorce proceedings.

Avoid Face-to-Face Conversations or Phone Calls

One of the most effective methods of communication during a divorce is through email and text messages. While face-to-face conversations may seem more personal, they can often be fraught with emotion, which can make it difficult to stay on topic. By communicating through email or text messages, you can have documentation of what was said during a conversation. This eliminates a lot of the “he said, she said” and can be used as evidence during your divorce proceedings.

When communicating through email or text messages, it is important to take time to respond. In the heat of the moment, it is easy to say something that you may regret later. By taking a moment to think about what you want to say, you can ensure that your response is measured and thoughtful. It is not necessary to respond immediately, and giving yourself an appropriate amount of time to think through your response can also give you time to cool off if the conversation is emotional or upsetting. 

Set Aside Personal Issues and Focus on the Logistics of the Proceedings

During a divorce, it is common for spouses to bring up every perceived misdeed of the past in order to pick a fight. However, when communicating with your former spouse, it is extremely important that you stick to the topic at hand. Bringing up past issues or perceived misdeeds will only lead to arguments and can derail the conversation. Instead, focus on the actual issues that need to be addressed and keep the conversation on the topic. If this is too difficult, your attorneys can communicate for you. However, where parties have minor children in common, eventually, they have to learn to communicate amicably. 

How Do Children Fit Into This Conversation?

It is also important to keep your children out of any conflicts between you and your former spouse. Children should not be used as messengers to relay messages between you and your ex-spouse. Additionally, you should not ask your children what goes on in the other parent’s home. When you involve your children in adult issues, you put them in the middle of a difficult situation. This can be incredibly confusing and stressful for them, and it is important to shield them from any unnecessary conflict. If your child tries to relay a message to you, thank them and then contact the other party directly instead of involving the child.

Overall, effective communication is key during a divorce. By communicating through email and text messages, taking time to respond, sticking to the topic at hand, and keeping your children out of adult conflicts, you can ensure that your divorce proceedings go as smoothly as possible. It is important to prioritize your emotional and mental well-being during this challenging time, and effective communication can help to reduce stress and conflict during the process.

The Law Offices of Michael A. Robbins can guide you through your divorce and help you deal with all the emotions involved. We will work hard to provide you with the best representation possible. To schedule a consultation, call (248) 646-7980 or fill out the online form.